stay up late just tow atch a premierie of an arg and uh a bit dissapointing uh imso lseepy im gonna tell more tomorrow yesag
yeah lol so yesterday was nyepi and im really excited to see the star cuz obvi there is no light so we can clearly see the star but it RAINED SO FUCK HARD OMG THis is LIKE THE SECONED ITME NEHOISHFOIAJDOIAJDOIAJD. so yeah while waitting for the rain to stop i watch some shit in youtube but it ass lol.. maybe im just to sleepy thats why i dont understand shit, yeah prob i watched it at 3 am anyways and yeah ive been grindin nonstop in forsaken and played others game too and WHY CANT I DOWNLOAD ROBLOX IN MY LAPTOPPPPPPPPP
Why do i feel so nervous lately, like, i really dont want to meet people irl. But its not like i dont want to meet my family or friends, its just i dont want to meet those people i need to be fake to.
Like im not a fake person but to make things not awkward i need to fake my personality, besides im not in the mood to meet random people and to be in a crowd
btw about the death rails, we finally beat it, even tho my friend tht lives yeaheyaheuahu leave in the mid of the game, but we did it. im gonna tell more tomorow im really not in the mood. Btw, lately i started to dream again, 3 dreams in one sleep. its really, weird? idk but today i dreamt about chatting to a new friend of mine and then i switch app to talk to, him. . i, uh. in that dream we are still friends, and i was asking him why we rarely talks nowdays, God
mood:good good good, i called some of my friends to play death rails and we are gonna play again tomorow with MY FRIEND THAT LIVES 93U3109481209381349283 KM AWAY FROM ME YIPPIE. She saw my stories about death rails and then we talk about death rails and i ask for her help and she says tomorow, YIPIIE
i called her too and we talk about school and stuff and im SO SO SO GLAD we can still talk like we used to, no awkward moments, just pure laugh, sometimes im glad some thigns didnt change, even after it changes, do you get what i mean?
BTW I DREAM ABOUT FOG IN THE SKY, BUT ITS NOT FOG ITS POISONOUS GAS, SO ME AND MY FAM USE THE CAR TO ESCAPE BUT IDK WE STOP IN LIKE A VERY FUTURISTIC HOUSE AND TEAM UP WITH RANDOM DUDE AND THEN A FRIEND OF MINE LETS CALL HER M CHATTED ME ON DC AND THEN, i wake up
anyways there is like idk i need to go somewhere tomorow and then ill call my friends YIPPIE IM EXCITED
i feeeeel like a roller costerrrrr ohmyg od
?id/ i uh went to a friend houese today to play dead rails but we keep dying but i feel happy and rtrhen theater makes me idk i just feel bored andan uh im jsut gonna write this tomorow i feel dizzy id ont want ot go to theater practice tomorow im in a badmood like i dont want to respond to anyone right now i keep ghosting and ignoring eveyrone omg and i just so lazyyyyyyyyyyy ugh i cant i just hate when this happens obut i feel slightly happy cuz 3 of my fav youtubers upload i love you evbo and sen prista and ihasfacelulz is gonna makes me sad /
gAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH EVBO WHY THE SERIES IS RELATABLE NOW WHYNARE YOU MUKGIING ME SAD ANDJAHWIWJOAJDOIA BUT OS MANY PLOTTIWST WHATTTTTTT
HI its 12:52 am as i writting this and at first i want to tell you guys thatt my mood is improving and i started to watch some series that ive been wanting to watch since last year BUT BUTBBUA DA I JUST WATCH LOOK BACK AND PIUEWFAHFAHFLIAJHFAKJHDSKJFKJAHDFJAS JSADASDAIJDIADJIWJDIWJD JASDIAJFIOHUWWFHAAJFJAHDFIWEUF KYOMOTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDSAJDAJSNDAJND SJJJJJJJJJSJJSAJAOIJA PLS DONT STOP DRAWING FUJINO I I I SIJAIDJIWJIJDIWADJWIJSIAOJDWFCJJJJJJJJJ
WATCHING THEM DRAW AND GROW REMINDS ME WITH ALL OF THE STORY IVE BEEN WANTING TO DRAW AND AND AND I THINK ILL START PRACTICING AGAIN BAHAIUHDOIHEAJDIAJDIAJSDIAJSIDASJDAIJ IM NOT CRYING IM NOT CRYING MY EYES HURT DADH
hi hi hi, just a bit sad cuz i just watch a new vid from my fav arg and uh
BRO I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO REVOLVES HER WHOLE LIFE ON DATING LIKE FOIJDAFAJFOIAJ
LIKE dude i know you want to talk to me ik you want to have a conversation with me but stop talking about ur bf. What do you want me to say when you talk about ur "sweet lovey bf" HUH? "OH UR BF IS SO SWEET OMG" AND IF I SAID THAT, YOU ARE GOING TO SAY THAT I LIKE UR BF WHEN IM CLEARLY NOT YOU FUCKING RETARDAIS FDAUHDSSADVSAOIDFJSOI GOD AND THEN U GOT MAD JUST BECAUS HE LEFT U ON READ FOR AN HOUR LIKE GIRLLLLLL HE HAS A LIFEOAHSDOAHODIA YOU ALWAY LEAVE ME ON READ AND IM NOT EVEN MAD AND STOP STOP BRINGING ME INTO THE PROBLEM WHEN THE PROBLEM CAN BE RESOLVED JUST BY TALKING OMG GOD I HATE THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE LIKE STFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
just a little reminder, im not jealous, im not interested in dating or something that revolves over me having a romantic relationships with someone, i dont like those things. BUT BRO I KNOW U LOVE UR BF I KNOW IT BRO I KNOW IT GOD OSIFOIJDOIAJDOAIS
AND THE STUPID WIFI I HATE THE STUPID WIFI JUST LET ME PLAY ROBLOX BRO I KEEP GETTING DISCONNECTED AND IT WONT LET ME PLAY JUST PLEASE LET ME PLAY GOD
.
i think every little thing is making me upset now, and uh, i kinda find myself isolating from a bunch of my friends? im only responding to three of them and uh im starting to prob isolate myself from this lovesick girl uh. lets see how i feel tommorow and RULE FOR MYSELF: Stop listening to alex g, mitski, and andrianne lenker for now
**update***
feeling a lot better now after playing with my old math teacher and with some old classmates, despite everything theyre still the same, im glad
hi
a i dont have any motivation to do anything, even to write something here, i only find joy when im chatting my friends and listening to music
i found comfort when im watching arg, especially Ben2fr and andrewgaming67 and recallahollowheart and ihasafacelulz and oothers i just found comfort when the characters missed the past when they missed their friends when they missed the much simpler life they used to have. How they wish everything havent change how they wish the person they love is still there how they just cant accept change. I just relate to it so much, those arg reminds me that im not alone, everyone feels this feeling sometimes. I lovelovelove arg so much
i want to make an arg too
a few days ago i dreamnt about my friendgroup, when we still in the same school, we are playing marbles. ig you guys know that i missed them so much. i wish we can meet everyday again
i feel sadness
all i can think about rn is how sad his parents and his closest friends are when they heard the news.
when they realized they will never meet him again
a senior from my old school died from an accident. They said he got into a coma for 6 hours before he died, no doctor come to save his life.
i never interacted with him before, but i know him from a friend of mine. They used to date back in middle school, and i think they still like each other. I heard he is a funny guy. I saw him playing the guitar/bass every time there is a school event. Its sad to think that ur closest friend is no longer there with you, and i feel bad for every one that loves him.
May he rest in peace
LMAO I WONNNN 3RD PLACE BABYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didnt even study LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
so me and my friend joined this competition cuz we are bored and its free so why not, there is like 5 of us and like others more but i dont recognize them cuz they are like a friend of a friend but we chill so yeah. It was an english competition and the question is just full yapping and i get bored so after 2 of my friends submited their test i jusst choose randomly and get out of the room. we didnt study anything and 5 minutes before the test we were playing minecraft together.
Okey then while waiting for the announcement thingy i was playing roblox forsaken. My friends keep complaining that im addicted and bro there is a new update just let me check it. And yeah they called my name when i was playing forsaken so i passed my phone to my friends and then she ended up being the 2nd winner so she passed it to my other friends and then she ended up being the first winner so yeah, the power of forsaken and minecraft ig. BUT IT WAS PEAKKKKKKK
huhh
borin week, only exam, and then play roblox with friends, and then exam, roblox, sick, exam, roblox, cough, exam, cough, roblox, exam, and shit
i think i was a bit high a few days ago (not high like drugs but like, yea) and i randomly decided to join a competition, uh, wish me luck ig
boring day, nothing happened, i kinda wish someone confessed to me even tho i will probably reject em, i dont like the concept of dating
shit im so lazy
im makin an essay rn uh
Okay so, this week is pretty boring blablabla and about that cyberpunk novel, i think its gonna be a spinoff of my other story that based in 1960s (i dont know what to name this story). Yea there is probably gonna be magic but also Ai thingy cuz the story is set in the future.
sometimes i wonder, what if a therapist reads my silly journal and see how crazy i i get everydauy, what will my diagnosis be
TOMOROW IS VALENTINE
lol ion care about dating and stuff but sometimes i wonder is there any guy who likes me
.
damn i got lazier and lazier everyday
uh i got a story idea, kowloon city cyberpunk that one stray cat game and dalam hitungan by feast and also 1984 george orwell. Idk about the story but i want a bad ending
also i hate mondays
I swear i want to tell you guys somethin but i forgot... I think its about my homeroom teacher that bought a limosiisuias pizza for the whole class
Wow its.. february? already?
okay so there is this school project where you get in groups and then u sell things, yeah me and my friends have been selling hairpin and its not just an ordinary hairpin, its like this, ikr we are so cool. And we are actually doing good, we've been selling a lot of hairpin and we got so many order and that is so epic.
Anyway, yesterday i attended my old school open house and it was epic. I met a lot of my old classmates, and sell a bunch of hairpin too lol. We were having fun and i was talking to one of the juniors there and then i noticed that the sky becomes cloudy and dark. Yeah it rained, but it was not an ordinary rain, it has a wind feature. Yeah its like a rainstorm and im so glad there is no lightning and shit but the wind is so fucking hard the tent that we use for shelter almost flew away, yeah it was too late for us to go inside the school building. I suggested my friend to borrow an umbrella from the security, and she decided to help some of the parents to go to whatever place they wanted to go, yeah my friend is epic she become a free uber even tho she didnt go to this school anymore. Yeah after the rain stopped i actually slipped on a mud and my FIRE outfit got dirty and uhhh we are not going to talk about that one..
SO many things i wanna do to this website lol, i might add a galery so idk, and i might change the about me page and change the fav games into pic instead. Prob gonna add some music too if i know how, just need to find the right day to learn it. In this page is prob gonna be crack baby by mitski, main page is prob color ur night, idk about the me page but the galery page is gonna be either wasted summer, apple cider, or dont look back in anger. i thing the about me page is gonna be bigmouth strikes again. maybe i should add a page dedicated to my oc and story. I actualy have so many idea but so little time to write. There is a story about my friendgroup(love yall) in a zombie apocalypse. Chapter 2 is almost complete and i kinda wanted to share it to the oublic for fun ig. And there is a story called "Lets runaway for no reason at all". Its about 2 teenagers that got bored at a summer breaks and decided to runaway for no reason lol, they dont have problem at home they are just bored ig. And then i want to make a manga called "Meet me after school ends". So at the start there is 2 guy that are hosting an audition to find a lead singer for their band cuz the previous singer decided to join the other band and they got audition in a month and the have to find a replacement. Its almost 6 pm now and they still havent got their new singer, the almost gave up and then they suddenly hear a girl that sings an old rock songs and when they get closer they saw the teather club cleaning up the class and saw a girl sing. So after they finish the club and wanted to go home, the guys aprouched the girl and ask em to meet them after school ends tomorow, at first the girl refused but the guys told her if she joined the band, she can choose the bands name cuz apperently they dont have a name yet. and boom the girl decided to name the band "after school end" PEAK. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT fast forwad 1 year later, there is a new student a boy and he introduce his name to class and his hobby is singing. His voice is actually good but he is still not confident, seeing his potential, the teacher told him to join a band called "after school end" cuz they dont have a singer rn WAIT WAHT THE SHIT,What happened to the girl?? Did the band managed to win the competition with the girl?? Why does some of the bandmates so bitter with him?? yeah ion want to spoil much, but i also made like a spin off like what if the girl stayed as a lead singer in the band. its callled "How to be human:dont" its a novel and im gonna make it as confusing as deep as wow as that one dooms mod called "my house" PEAK. there is also this manga i wanted to make that set in the 60s and i think im gonna focus on that story for now and that zombie apocalypse story, wish me luck i really love my project and i love to yap so much omg i dont want to go to school tommorow but i have teather tomorowo but i have physics tomorow and GOD.
i fucked up my sleeping schedule
Uh i got a migraine yesterday and idk why my friends said tthat body is really warm, im a bit better now but sometimes i can feeel my brain ache everutime i think.
i think this is a result of 4 hourss sleep a day so im just gonna rest today and SKIP SCHOOL
imgoing insaneeee,
im just so sos ososoo lazy idk why and sososososososo tired and i have no motivation to do things and i keep procastinating bro idk wtf im jst dont want to do anything but i have so many things to do i have so many ideas and so many cools thign i can do but the motivation keeps falling from the 10 floor building sos >/p?/>
have you ever stop being friend with someone but not in the blocked way but in a unfriended way? like i dont hate you, mauybe if we talk about the past we can still be friends. I love to hear ur story again, i love to see ur cool pic about food again. i want to play again with yuo
Remember the "pretty and is a bit spoiled and is really loud" girl that i dont realy like and im scared of? Yeah the teacher decided to changes the seat formation and she put me RIGHT BEHIND OF HER OH MY GOD YOU MORON UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
happy late new year and wow, we are closer to 2030 than we are closer to 2018, uh
nothing special happens, but the goverment decided to stop operating the RED BUS HHERE BRO WTH FUCK YOU. So uh there is 2 type of bus here, 3 actualy, the tour bus for those touris, the blue bus that i rarely see, and the red bus that i see every 15 minutes. AND THEY FUCKING DELETE THE RED BUS BRO ITS MY FAVOIRTYEHUEFIUAHIUFHA. Imagine u are late, and the next bus is ONE HOUR AWAY BRO AJDAIDIUAHDSIHA
THEY SAY "tHerE is NO OnE in tha bussauahdiahsdiah" YEAH THATS WHY I LIKE IT, ITS QUITE, AND THERE IS NO ONE INSIDE THAT BUS, I AINT SITTING ON THE BUS WHILE SMELLING YOU GUYS STINKY AH ARMPIT NUH UH.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIONWANNAGOTOSCHOOL
yesterday is wild asf
i went to my friends party yesterday, its really fun. my old classmates is there, its been so long since i saw them. We actually invited our old math teacher cuz he's the goat but his friend is in the hospital that day so he cant come, but since he cant come, the boys decided to bought some beer (its draft beer and it sucks so nobody drink it). They actually made this weird abbomination sweet drinks, its like a fruit punch ig, idk, theres a watermelon on that drink and its so sweet wth.
at night we fire some fireworks and it was so fucking fun, they also bought some firecrackers and the boys keep throwing it at us like what the hell??? I recorded it right, and the firecrackers sound like a gunshot, i am a victim. ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD we got some complains from the neighbor uhhh we have to apologizee (While the others are apologizing to the neighbors, me n my friend went inside to give the host a company while she is gettin lectured by her mother)
overall the party is really fun, i really feel like a teenager, like actually, lately ive been thinking that im a bit immature, a bit childish, maybe i am? idk, atleast i enjoy my teenage life.
2024 have been a weird year for me. so many new things so many changes. i got a lot of friends but i also lost one. thats life ig
this is the worst christmas ever.
i cant fucking focused i wish i throw up i just wanna cry
Laziness kills me everytime i wanted to write in this site, but here i am, trying to fight back.
There is so many things that i wanted to talk about..
OKAY so first, uh, i skipped school for two weeks ... ITS NOT MY FAULT OKAY, OKAY SO I CANT SLEEP, LIKE REALLY REALY CANT SLEEP, MY BODY IS STILL FULL OF ENERGY AND I FEEL ANXIOUS. So i have to drink like this medicine so that i can sleep, yeah i drink that shit at like 4 am and yea. Uh and then 4 days later i found out that the medicine that my doctor gave to me (not the one that made me sleep), yeah that medicine made me cant sleep at all. yeah its called methylprednisolone lalala.
So uh, this dude, the one that blocked me in spotify, he is the one that told me about the side effect and stuff. Btw about this dude, idk, when i cant sleep at night i usually talks to him, but yesterday (21 december) uh he send a shirtless pic to our gc (the gc consist of me my friend, her bf, and him) and uh he is 21 and he knows im underage. idk the others is confused about his behaviour cuz he, once again, avoid to answer the question, and now he is gone, again. idk it just weird like imagine the person u trust turns out to be a bad person. I dont 100% trust him but yeah idk whats wrong with him
Oh btw me and my friends went to the mall yesterday (21 december), and we say MR BEAST TOY AND LANKYBOX PLUSHIE!!!!!!! and we met OUR OLD TEACHER OMG I LOVE MY LANGUANE TEACHER SO MUCH. Oh we also met this teacher, uh, idk her name, SORRY, but like she teach kindergarden and i think why she rememmber us because when we are going to our school camp, we contributed to be putted in the kindergarden bus cuz our bus the middle school one is full, BUT THATS A FUN EXPERIENCE THO.
But yeah im just glad that even tho we havent met in a long time, we still havent change a bit, we still jokes and laught like we used to, and im just glad that alteast after a long exhausting day i can alteast talk with the people i really trusted.
Ive been skipping school for the past 4 days LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I am productive now i draw like a bunch of things and im curently editing a video rn and my friend she's here rn and not 100238288324021751 km away from me YAY
last saturday (i think it was 7 december ion remember) i went to my old school event, its like a dinner event and you hva to pay 150 thousand f0r that wth, and the food is DOGSHIT. It tasted ARTIFICIAL, AND THE EVENT WAS OUTDOOR AND IT RAINED WTH
okay anyway i skip school again LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
Bro like there is nothin you can do at school like its boring af and the internet sucks so fucking bad and i have to get up at like 5/6 am and have to be there at like 7 am bla blalababla IT SUCKS SO FUCKING MUCH
And my hair bro its on the weird phase where its long but still short like Lain hair, i like it and hate it at the same time like wth just let me cut my hair. I WANTTTTTTTTT TO CUT IT SO BADDDDDD BUT MY MOM PROBABLY WONT LET ME UNTIL THE END OF DECEMBER, Im fine tho im planning to cut it at the end of december lol but I HATE PEOPLE WHO KEPT TELLING ME TO GROW MY HAIR LIKE FUCK YOU MY HAIR MY RULE. I love you Yora cuz u r the only one that likes my short hair :3
Yeah uhh i skip school today LMAOOO
I mean my parents is fine with me not going to school, besidess there is nothing to do there. Exam is over and we are doing some competition shit that i really dont want to do, so thats why i skip school
WELL i think i need a break, so i can play roblox all day and watch youtube, and try to do some projects that I REALLY WANT TO DO OH MY GOD SCHOOL REALLY TAKES AWAY YOUR CREATIVITY HUH
Oh anyways there is this one juniors from my old school that chat and ask me to help her with my projects, AND IM REALLY BORED THAT DAY AND SO I DECIDED TO HELP AND THAT GOT ME THINKING
"Hey, you also do this kind of projects for ur old exam right? and u have to present it infront of the headmaster right? and that day you got a chocolate and a notes from ur juniors that wish ur presentation went well right? and now this juniors is doing the same thing right?... so, why dont you go on side quest and GIVE THEM A CHOCOLATE AND NOTES ASWELLL?????????"
OMG UR A GENIUS!!
yeah i ended up giving some chocolate to like 7 juniors, thats cool ig, i should do this sidequest more often, like this is fun
yeah i should lock in and start my project lol imma start drawing
Btw its been raining a lot here, yeah we got no winter here, but i really like to call my country a place where summer is forever, but i love rain
Hi uh, exam is kinda sucks but i got 80 at biology so its fine ig
I know i keep saying this but i think im getting closer with my classmates? idk
ive been hanging out with my friends a lot and i actually has a lot of hangouts scheduled for the next few weeks
I watched this video about the importance of real things and it inspired me to collect stuff like books and music tapes and stuff
ive been thinking to finally write again on my old journal, i stoped writting last year cuz im focusing on school and hanging out with my friends and i really want idk like maybe my kids or grandkids to one day find my journal and start reading it and finally learning about my history, i think its cool even tho i dont think i will get a child
I will still write in this site cuz i dont think i can express my emotion on that journal, idk tho i really want to MAKE A WEBSTIE BUT I DONT HAVE TIME OMYGOD
I saw thi video about a guy just trainhoping across scandinavia and it really inspired me to write and draw again, even tho i currently cant rn cuz of exam. I always have this idea to write about 2 teenagers runningaway for no reason at all and maybe i can take some inspiration from that video. Also there is this cool old factory that got abonded and become a park that might be a very cool building for some super villains to sit there and do evil things
I've been observing my classmates for a week, this is what i see, and hear
there is this girl that really want to switch seats with the guy that is seating behind me, but his seatmate refuse cuz of those group task. But she ended up seating there anyway. So this girl used to hang with her friend group that consist of what you can say "the pretty girl", but she got a problem with one of them so thats why she wanted to switch seats. Im a bit confused but i cant do anything, its not my problem anyway. But on wednesday, after school ended, it was only me, my seatmate, and one of the smart girl left in our classroom. We decided to talk to her and, surprise, she's also confused on the pretty girl behaviour. We chatted for half an hour until i have to go home, but that conversation kinda open my eyes. You see, in this friend group there is this girl, lets call her Emi. She's the typical spoiled kid that loves to express how she feels. If she feels mad she scream at people and stuff like that. She's always screaming. Emi and her seatmate is the only girl i never speak to, cuz i know she'll never understand about the way i think. Anyway this smart girl said that she doesnt like her at all cuz she's a brat and is really bossy. And that is true lol. From the first time i step in this class i know that she will get hated, but not this slow, LOL. Anyway yeah i think the main problem is from this girl
The next day, when free time. There is this one popular girl that is not a part or the pretty girl friend group and sits infront of me. She is really nice, she's probably in the boys friend group but she is really nice. Okay so me and some of my seatmates (i really need to draw the seating position lol) we having a conversation with her. The smart girl were also there lol, and we were talking about Emi. I dont really listen to what she said cuz we were outside and i dont want to make people sus about our behaviour stuff like that, but from what i heard, she was talking about how she feels Emi is avoiding her and how she wanted to talk about it with her. After that i went inside and wait until school ended. sdjaksjdaljdalsdjsdj lalalala after school ended i was talking to this girl that is a part of the pretty girl friend group, i asked her about the girl that switched seats and the detail of her problem, and im not shocked when she said she doesnt know. She said she tried to ask the other about what happened but all they said was "everything is fine, dont worry", but she knew nothing is fine, so she tried to keep talking to the switched seat girl hoping shes okay and they are stil friends lalalala stuff like that. After that the popular gir came in and gather us around, including me and my seatmates, the smart girl, the one of the pretty girl fg, and this guy that the popular girl trusted, and she told us that she already ask Emi about this avoiding thing and Emi FUCKING CRY LOL, THIS POPULAR GIRL IS NOT EVEN MAD AT HER BUT SHE FUCKING CRIED LOL. She thinks she is a cry baby, i think shes just acting, and i go home
The next day nothing weird happened, but it was really weird cuz nothing happened.
Besides this girl drama stuff, i feel like some of the boys look at me like im weird, i can hear them whispering stuff about how im a dude just because i am a girl with short hair. Im afraid they will make rumours about me, especially after this exam, im afraid of cheating and they will probably be mad cuz i dont want to share answers. I wish nothing bad happened to me
Is it weird that i call my classmates "classmates" or "seatmate" or "the _ girl" "the_ boy"? Cuz i dont considered them as a friend at all
WHY, IS
shut up, i dont trust you anymore
OH i got 500 bucks from that theater competition lol
i wish to be one with the stars. To be admired by an innocent girl, just like how i admired all the people that step and act on that stage. oh to be just like them. i became so inspired after watching them perform, even though its a competition. i don't care that i lost on this theater competition, all i care is that i wanted to be just like them, to make someone proud. I want to practice more, but this school stops me from doing that. i wish school didn't exist but that means i will never saw them on that stage.
sorry for not writting anything for the past weeks, this theater competition made me so busy. Fun fact, im actually getting a bit closer with my classmates, we play roblox all the time and we go to the canteen together and i finally feel happy. im also, slowly, acepting the fact that he doesnt want to talk to us again, as a celebration i need a box of mcdonalds nugget, send it to me please.
All i need now is a sleep, and a rest day, away from anything, and let me dream again, just like an innocent child.
To the dumbest person i know (God u have so many online name i dont even know which one is ur real name)
I FUCKING HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. I HATEHATEHATE HATE HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING LIAR I HATE YOU I HATE YOU YOU YOU
ATLEAST SAY GOODBYE?? ATLEAST TELL ME A REASON, I DONT FUCKING CARE IF ITS A DUMB REASON ATLEAST JUST TELL ME SOMETHING BEFORE YOU LEAVE, BEFORE YOU FUCKING BLOCK ME
I KNOW I SOUND SELFISH BUT BRO U CANT LEAVE ME LIKE THAT, PLEASE GIVE ME A REASON, PLEASE. YOU KNOW HOW IMMATURE I AM,I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
YOU KNOW YOURE, IDK, YOU ARE LIKE A BIG BROTHER TO ME. YOU ARE THE COOLEST PERSON I MET AND I REALLY REALLY WANT TO MAKE U PROUD OF ME. I OHAOIHFHAOHDIAS IDK IM JUST SO MAD. IM SO MAD BUT I DONT KNOW WHERE TP TAKE IT OUT ON. I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I HATE U OR NOT, IDK IF IM MAD, OR IF IM DISSAPOINTED, OR SAD, OR WHAT, I DONT FUCKING KNOW
.idk, you were so sad when we last talk. im just worried. what happened to you? is this one of ur lie? did you lie to me? is the big brother that i know is actually fake? idk, idk , i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know im going INSANE every day omg why does the dumbest person that i know make me feel so fucking stupid hdhdjsdkzjdmx,z mjdhufaakjsaufaeoih.
I really dont want to go to school
it sucks, so fucking much. i was sick last week, and i wish im sick rn.
this week is just weird, idk, i feel like im getting closer with my classmates and its a good thing, but idk it just feel forced. They probably think they have a very normal conversation with me but they dont know how awkward it feels to be me. I feel so autistic talking to them, im really not good at small talk. they think im good but ive been observing the way they talk and im just mirroring them. I still cant find someone that is just like my old friendgroup. I know its imposible but idk. I really dont know what i want, or how i feel.
I do know what i want, i want my old life back. I want to go back to middle school, with my real friends. i miss them, i miss my old classmates, i miss my old class, i miss my old teacher, i miss everything. I hate changes. i know im selfish stuff idc, i hate changes and thats the truth. I wish i can runaway from everything. i really hate this new school.
i got sexual harrased by some students. it was thursday and me and myy sitmate are walking to the canteen when this group of boys start calling me. They call me like im a dog, the call me short hair so i can give them attention, but i ignore them, like what everyone told me to. They still doing that when we are going back to class. A boy also cat called me when i was waiting for my mom to pick me up, he was in a truck idk why.
I hate this school
i miss my friends
I feel like a bunch of mitski songs that was forced to be one.
Maybe this is how it feels to grow up, feeling dumb cuz ur teacher cant teach and have to learn everything by yourself. Feeling dumb cuz you dont know what to do in the future and dont know what to be. Feeling dumb cuz you know no one understand how you truly feel. Feeling dumb cuz your friend can actualy runaway from this school and go back to our old school, OUR SCHOOL.
I WILL NEVER BE A STUDENT IN THIS SCHOOL, NEVER, NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVERRRRRR IUGWISAJOIASD EWIUF
i love the internet cuz they are just a bunch of random people that cares more about me. There is this one dude, hes like an older brother to me. I really dont know what happened to him now, and i wish i can talk to him.
Maybe i will kms one day. Maybe i will runaway one day. But rn, the only thing that keeping me sane is the project im working rn. Its a story, of my friend group in a zombie apocalypse. YEAH I FUCKING MISS THE SO MUCH THAT MY NOVEL IS ABOUT THEM. And i have a dream, so that one day we can read this novel together. I want to see their expression, their reaction, again.
i wish i can be a middle schooler again
THE HOLIDAY IS OVER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Anyway my friend that lives 1.177,5 km away from me finally come here to spend her holiday with US YIPPIEEE, we had a sleepover at her house (she still has a house here after she moved) for 2 days. We also went to the mall using the bus and IT WAS SO FUNN USING THE BUS OMG I REALLY WANT TO DRAW WHEN WE ALMOST GOT HIT BY A TRUCK WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO CROSS. We spend our time playing with some old classmates from our old school and our old teacher, We love our teacher so much he was the best math teacher in this world. uhh we eat an expired cheese and i cant wait to get a new virus from it (i almost eat an expired pasta that is full of mold but lets not talk about it). Gosh i miss my friends so much, my new classmate is fun ig but they dont really understand my jokes and its making me crazy and i probably look autistic everytime i talk to them cuz i dont really fw the topics they like, especially kpop. Hey i dont hate kpop, i like to listen to it sometime but like im not the type of girl that will idolize their idol like that i mean i do have an idol but i just saw them as a singer and not like a God or a future husband (except Majima i love him). My "friend" said that i will one day melt or fell for those k pop men just like her but like, girl no, they are not my type, we are in high school now and i wont let those kind of things influence me blabadoiahdia.
Is it weird that i felt comfortable more with the theater kids and not with my classmates? Me and the theater kids has nothing in common but idk why i fw them more than i fw my classmates. idk its probably just me, oh btw the theater club is joining a competition. Idk the details about this competition but i really want to join cuz i need experience for college. wish me luck guys, i will force my friend to teach me css cuz i dont understand youtbe tutorial
There is like, how do i say it, religion holiday ig? So no school for 2 weeks, yippie, i guess i can use this time to continue my projects and learn CSS with my friend (even tho yesterday i spent the whole day doomscrolling uhh)
When i saw my husband, Majima, Getting his own game and becoming a PIRATE????, i scream. I have always love the idea of becoming a PIRATE, and seing him becoming a PIRATE just make me so happy for no reason that when i talk about it to my friend i probably look and sound autistic as hell. I should probably make a shrine for him, ill probably do that after i finished decorating the home page GOD SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!
EXAM IS FINALY OVER YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY
anyway after exam is over, me and my friend decided to go to an escape room to celebrate our friends birthday, it was really fun bro that we wanted to try it again but we have no money :\
btw the salon did me so dirty, my hair is to fucking short now sos
Its exam seasons rn and this stupid school has not teach me anything.
The teachers never come to class, the english teacher can't speak english, the math teacher only sleeps, and the headmaster lied to our parents about having a fucking air conditioner inside the restroom, like wtf?? I never saw an AC inside the restroom for the past 3 months, SOS.
wish me luck guys
Hi guys i dont understand why you want to read this but okay i gues.
okay guys I HATE MY SCHOOL!!!! I HATE IT SO MUCH!! GOD WHY DO I GO TO THIS SCHOOL????
So here is the story, a few months ago i joined theater club with my friend, And this week our school is celebrating its 5th anniversary, so it's obvious that the theatre club will be performing at this event. We spent our time and money on props, practicing, and we were even kick by security for practicing at school until 6pm. We're choosing a horror theme for this performance, and let me tell you that the country i live in is a very, very religious country. We have thought about this carefully, we try not to include ritual elements so that we don't bring in supernatural beings. we have also discussed this with our coach? mentor? smth, and he feels that the story we want to show is okay.
One day left before perfomance day and we are testing our costume, property, and also the stage, and when we go to the back of the stage
Alll of the teachers there we SHOCKED, SO SO SO SHOCKED, i thought they were shocked because of our costumes, BUT NO, THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE ARE PERFORMING A HORROR STORY! I THOUGHT OUR MENTOR? ADVISOR? HAS ALREADY TOLD THE TEACHERS ABOUT THIS????
so after a long discussion, we are not allowed to perform. We are so dissapointed with the school decisions, we are all crying.
There is actually more things that make me hate this school so much that i want to burn it down, but i just cant stop thinking about this, like we are supposed to get to the stage and perform and entertain the students. Its been like 3 days since it happened, and i'm sill disapoinefaondoasdoiahda
anyway can someone teach me about CSS, i really dont understand how to decorate this thing..